Grateful, Guilty, Glowing: A Summer Reflection

On dancing under the stars, pool parties, and holding joy in a world on fire.

I haven’t written here in a few weeks. Not because I had nothing to say, but because life’s been…a lot. One minute, I’m dancing under the stars in Joshua Tree. The next, I’m in Vegas with my sister and friends, feeling like that girl. Alive, glowing, laughing, letting go.

Then I’m back home, scrolling through headlines. I’ve seen the headlines children starving in Gaza. ICE raids happening here, in my own community. So many living in fear, just trying to survive. And I’m over here, trying to make sense of what freedom even means.

That contrast has been hard to hold. But maybe that’s what life is right now learning how to carry both, without dropping either.

The truth is, these past few weeks have been full of moments I needed.

Pool parties. Fireworks. Long talks with my sister. Sparkly outfits. Sunset drives. Music that made me forget the weight on my chest.

In Vegas, I danced. I laughed. I rested. Not because everything was perfect but because I finally gave myself permission to enjoy being alive.

And then there was Joshua Tree.

No cell service. Just the desert, music, and stars. I saw three shooting stars. One just for me, the kind no one else saw.

It felt like the universe was speaking directly to me: you’re still here. keep going.

And in the quiet moments, in between all the movement and noise, I was with my son.

We went to the movies together. We laughed. I watched him be silly and loud and fully himself. I held his hand like he was still little even though I know he’s growing up.

Those moments grounded me more than anything. Because yes, I’ve been holding a lot externally and internally.

I’ve been moving through some shifts. Letting go of what no longer fits. Some things ended. Some people didn’t make it in to this chapter. But I didn’t fall apart, I leveled up. And honestly? I like who I am becoming.

These last few weeks have been real. Not curated. Not performative. Just real.

There’s grief everywhere. And there’s joy, too. I’m not blind to the pain I just refuse to let it steal every moment. Because if we wait for the world to be okay before we feel anything good, we might be waiting forever.

Thanks for reading.💌

If your world feels heavy but still alive, you’re doing it right.

And if joy finds you in the middle of all that? Let it.